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Here to being open

You can’t escape your destiny

You can’t escape your destiny. And you can’t ignore your calling…. Not for long anyway!

Long ago, I remember reading a book that (over) simplified life. It made sense, but as with many theories, they are often somewhat different from our lived experience.

The theory was essentially this.  Whatever happens in life we have two choices: open our heart and energy field or close them down. Open or close. Pretty simple hey?

Sounds easy. But we all know that life is rarely that black and white. It can be so difficult and challenging (when the kids are screaming or we’re confronted with ‘bad’ news, as I was yesterday!) that staying open is the last thing we instinctively do. So we naturally close down, some more than others.

That said, ultimately, over the long term, these are indeed the fundamental choices we have to make as to how we will live our lives. Are we going to continue opening up to ALL that life has to offer or become closed?

Think of the elderly people you know. Can you notice in them which type of person they have chosen to be and how this attitude and response to the external world shows in their face, their energy, body, thoughts and deeds?

For those who are open – to others, to life, to curiosity, staying open, loving themselves and others, to possibility and hope and humility – they discover a sense of calling. And that calling ultimately leads them to an astounding destiny.

But for those cynics, the doubters, the angry, the ones who need to be right, who hate and judge and are closed minded, their destiny is equally assured – at the opposite end of the spectrum.

When I asked Chris Hall for her take on God, she replied with “well I know that there are forces far greater than me in this Universe… and that somehow everything is connected… and well, I don’t necessarily know what to call it… but I know it calls me“.

When we are open and we stay open, we can hear the voice of love, of truth and possibility – the voice of God, the Universe, Great Spirit – call it what you will.  All cultures, religions and people have their own word for it. I’ve heard ‘it’ referred to as energy, vibration and spirit to name a few.  Either way, ‘it’ exists.

Even scientists agree. They might call ‘it’ the voice of reason, objective truth, evidence, quantum physics, String theory, the Multi-verse or even common sense, but they agree that there is order and truth and that there are answers to our complex world, which they continually search for.

That’s our destiny – to make sense in our own unique way of this complex and often deeply challenging world… and to help others do the same.

We can stay open to the fact that we will all close down at some point in life, but know that we don’t need to stay closed. We need to do the work.  At the highest level we must stay open to live fully.

As surely as flowers needs water, light and nutrients to grow, we too need to nourish our heart, mind and soul so that it can open, flourish and radiate beauty for all the world to see.

So here’s to being open!

Love, Tristan

Freedom through NLP

To Be Free: Finding emotional freedom through NLP

When Sue, my mentor, said many years ago “Tristan, you have a great deal of freedom in your life” I understood what she meant but it didn’t really resonate with me. It made sense, but it wasn’t true for me.

Shortly before this, I had been running a successful business turning over £100,000 a month. I’d closed it down in the wake of the financial crisis in 2008 and had enough money to travel the world and do whatever I wanted for a few years.

On the face of things I was free. But underneath, emotionally, I was anything but.

It seemed that more often than not, my emotions and thinking were out of control and led me into states of anxiety and insecurity. It was like being a kid again, unsure of myself, what to do or who I really was in this often confusing and turbulent world.

And yet here I was, living most people’s dream. I was able to wake up when I wanted and do whatever I wanted each day. I was travelling the world, living by the sea and in the sun all year round.

It was around this time that I did my first NLP Trainer Training. I didn’t do it because I want to be an NLP Trainer. I did it because NLP training was the thing that had made the biggest difference in my life – be that emotional or financial – and it made sense to pursue that path.

The path as it turns out, has been and continues to be, a profound one. Gene Early, my coach and mentor shared with me a long time ago, that NLP training was ‘a way to live a profound life’.

He was right. It’s been a path of learning, revelation, healing and ever increasing freedom, passion, meaning, clarity and purpose – not bad for starting out on a journey of which I had no idea the destination. I just felt there was something (perhaps it was truth or love or a sense of freedom that came with it) in this NLP stuff. And boy am I glad that I embraced the journey.

For me, the heart of NLP is giving people choice – opening up possibilities where there are none. Bandler and Grinder wrote a book called ‘The Structure of Magic‘. Why? Probably because NLP uses structure in magical ways! It’s a world changing, dynamic methodology which presupposes that for each and every problem, there is a solution. Imagine that!

Freedom is different for everyone. What kind of freedom do you want? The freedom to choose, to change, to move?

What would it mean to you having already created the kind of freedom your heart longs for?

Nelson Mandela said that “to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

It begins with us. Soon, as we discover more of our own freedom – be that emotional, financial or other – we find there is a limitless supply of freedom. The more we give it to others, the more we give it to ourselves.

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill